Bed Bugs

Aunt Sissy frequently has stories about Joe Joe and the "entertainment" he sometimes provides while he is sleeping. She has been awoken to him freaking out that there were bugs in the bed or people trying to come in the window. He talks nonsense and has even snatched all her covers and demanded that she get up. I think the most humorous stories involve what Joe refers to as his "Jimmy Legs"... Once Michelle not-so-calmly-or-politely explains to him that he is dreaming, his response kind of goes like this: "Oh. There are not bugs in the bed. Ok, Michelle." Then his head hits the pillow and he is back out. Michelle, on the other hand, has to spend 30 minutes waiting for her blood pressure to return to normal before going back to sleep.

I know that is biologically impossible for Maison to have inherited what I call Joe's "Jimmy Leg Gene", but somehow, through the miracle of the universe, she did... The other day, she was crying that there was a seal in her bedroom. It was actually a black shirt wadded up on the floor next to her closet. If you look back to this post you will notice that Maison's sheets are white with little black polka dots. On more than one occasion, the "Jimmy Leg Gene" has caused her to wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Ladybugs in my bed, Mommy!" And I am not talking about just loudly explaining to me that her bed is infested with ladybugs. I am talking about blood-curdling-hysterical-my-hair-is-on-fire screaming. It startles me awake so fiercely that I literally make it from my bed to her bedside without my feet ever touching the floor. Once I gently explain to her that the "ladybugs" are actually polka dots, she looks at me and says "Oh. Polka dots on my sheets. Okay, Mommy." Then her head hits the pillow and she is back out. Mommy, on the other hand, has to spend 30 minutes waiting for her blood pressure to return to normal before going back to sleep.

I spent my lunch hour at Belk purchasing new sheets... without polka dots... Joe, you owe me $42.79 since your gene caused this problem.